Six Years of Pain and Sorrow
by Hoshi Sukai
Summary: Shinichi's absence had always stood like a thermometer, dreading on dangerous waters to seek the extent of Ran's patience. Well then, she could finally tell him face to face that she could wait forever for him, and that those six years... were nothing.


Six Years of Pain and Sorrow

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Detective Conan in any way, just the basic plot of this story :P

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_-His absence had always stood like a thermometer, treading on dangerous waters to find where the extent of her patience lay._

Ran Mouri gazed outside her windows one frosty and chilling down, eyes lingering on each and every bit of scattered snow that was carried across the glass. They came and went in blinking moments, and were so inversely related to time itself that she wanted to complain aloud of the injustice.

Time never passed quickly for Ran; instead it ebbed away like a nearly closed faucet. And, combined with longing and wistful hopes in her heart, it wasn't an understatement to say that her life crawled like a snail on the deep ocean floor.

Six years it had been, and what a long time indeed. As she pondered upon the windowsill with glassy brown eyes, Ran called upon the memories of long ago, and questioned them with every ounce of her power.

Just what had kept her going for so long?

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The first year began like a normal day, where it was just happiness and joy lingering in the air of Tropical Island. She came upon a murder case that day, but Ran grew to accept that her detective freak friend simply attracted these events. It was his nature, she knew as she found herself momentarily lost in his actions and words.

"Her tears were unshakable proof," she heard him say, "Only on a rollercoaster would tears flow sideways." It was strange how he managed to notice every single little detail in life, though she wouldn't put it past him that she suspected he was very much related to Sherlock Holmes himself.

And then, just as the murderer had cried when she took away the life of her boyfriend, Ran shed tears too as they walked home. And it was then that he noticed something with his set of piercing eyes again. Something she had hoped now that he'd never seen. But of course, it was inevitable.

He never did get to say goodbye to her. No, he had told her that he would catch up to her footsteps soon enough. Baka, she murmured to herself every now and then, she was such a baka to believe in such things. Because he had not returned.

And so, that was the last that she had seen Shinichi Kudo for a very long, long time.

Every now and then there would be a phone call, where they exchanged a conversation so brief that she had thought he was avoiding her on purpose. Sometimes, she had really thought that she was on the brink of insanity, that nothing could keep her from going and tracking Shinichi down beginning from one end of the world to the other.

But then he would always find some way to comfort her. It worked; he knew her best, after all. Ran Mouri never needed any mushy and romantic words; she just needed something to believe in, like how Shinichi found it important to believe in Holmes.

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The second year came like crawling winds. Its arrival was something she had never expected, for the past one had went in such slow motion that she had thought it would at least take infinity before it came. But it did, and at the first ticking of New Years Day, Ran knew with a hint of misery that Shinichi had been gone for a year.

Her life was simple enough now. There was little to do at home but to clean the house, find a way to get her parents back together, and also take care of little Conan. Truthfully, he looked so similar to a genius in the past that Ran sometimes became distracted and had to make an effort to convince herself otherwise.

But, one way or the other, it was the same hair that they shared, the same eyes, the same grin, and the same adrenaline-filled expression at the first sound of a scream.

And, knowing that her memory had not failed her yet, Ran recalled the special event that happened that year.

"After the case, I have something to tell you." That was one of the few times she saw Shinichi again. Second, to be exact, whereas the first she had only been able to be in the same room as he was before he vanished into thin air.

His words confused her, and for a moment the girly side of her conscious took over and gave her cheeks a blush in full bloom. Then, he took her to the Kyoto Tower's Sight Seeing Restaurant.

Really, if he was simply hoping to ask for her notes, there wasn't necessary to bring her to such a fancy place. But then, there was something else about his tone, something that urged her to lean closer and listen.

What she heard wasn't pleasant at all, because the sound that she had heard took Shinichi away from her once again.

She didn't have the right to complain, and, knowing that, she told him to go on with a smile.

"You can go, Mr. Detective." This time, it was her who sent him away.

And when Conan came to tell her the news, the news that he left her again, Ran didn't know what possessed her. She wasn't the one to easily cry, but she shed tears then, tears that poured like falling rain. In the end, it was Conan's words that brought her back to Earth, and reminded her of the thing that kept her going. And she did keep on going, for another year.

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During the third year, more things began to occur. Her father was gaining greater and greater popularity, though at times it was a wonder how he managed his 'Sleeping Kogoro' deductions. Once, when they were invited to a reunion party, she had been sick with a cold.

That day went terribly slow, even more than usual. Her head spun every so often as her father went on to solve the case. Then, she remembered that she had fallen out of her chair and onto the ground, where darkness pulled her closer and into a time when everything was alright.

"Is a reason necessary? As far as helping a person is concerned, why should there be a logical mind?" A memory she hadn't recalled slipped back to her at that moment, where she found herself behind Shinichi and facing a serial killer. Such an important memory. She still had not yet forgiven herself of forgetting such an event, especially where now moments with Shinichi such as those were as rare as jewels in the sky.

It was a pity she had woken up later, since she could have drowned forever in that memory for all she cared. But, then she remembered. No, Ran still had something to do in her life, something that resisted against temptations of the past no matter how strong they were.

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The fourth year answered to her desires. It was a bit of a laugh, but Shiragami sama had granted Ran's wish. Shinichi was back again, appearing as if he was whisked here by a perchance gust of north wind.

Of all the times Ran Mouri had braved in the past, it was of pure inevitability that her resolve would crumble before him. She couldn't ask, just couldn't. Words failed to form in her throat as she silently pulled on his jacket.

"Please wait for me," it was the same words again, and for a moment she was about to protest. Then, he added, "According to my deduction, I suspect that what you wanted to ask, and what I wanted to ask, is the same thing." That one sentence gave her the ability to believe once more in him. Alright, was her answer as he disappeared to the crime scene. Even if it meant that she'll probably miss more time between them, she would wait for him, patiently until the end of time.

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The fifth year went much too unhurried. Actually, if it had been possible, Ran would've rather wished it be skipped over. That particular three hundred and sixty-five days could've been, by far, the worst days of her life. It was the one year that Shinichi had never appeared in, and all the hope she had dangled perilously atop a loose wire.

Even Conan had gone. Back to America, Professor Agasa had told her on the phone. Strangely enough, she missed him more that she should've. Maybe it was because, other than pictures, the coincidental similarities between him and Shinichi were the only things that kept her hoping through his absence.

But Conan couldn't say goodbye to her as well, just as he. Was he hoping that she'd have enough spare determination to wait for him also?

Ran couldn't help but clutch her knuckles hard through the night, feeling the cool and lonely winds blow and taunt at her. Conan, Shinichi, was it all a game to torture her?

For once, there were no kind words to lead her on, and for once Ran noticed how dependant she had been through all this time. Gritting her teeth, she shut her eyes close as far as they could and thought. She could pull through this. She's been through worse. She would prove to him that even a millennium wouldn't shake her resolved conscious.

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There was little she could say of the sixth year. Instead of going through those long months again, she'd rather simply account for that particular day by the window. That was the last morning of that year, and also perhaps one of the most significant.

Memories answered her question from before, as well as the quiet figure atop the bed. Walking closer, she knelt by the boy of spiked hair and blue eyes hiding behind lids. There, she close her eyes, and allowed her mind to answer the question she pondered upon for six years.

What had kept her going? Well, the answer was right in front of her, after all. He'd been always the answer, no matter if he was gone on his 'supposed case' or simply sleeping after some midnight reading atop their bed.

A hand gently slid across her face, caressing it with such ginger softness that she felt like a china doll. Opening her eyes, Ran felt her heart give a squeeze as she witnessed the smiling face of the boy before her eyes.

Yes, all was worth the wait. If he was the thermometer to test her patience, then she would tell him that it would go on for infinity.

Because he was there.

Because she knew him.

And because Ran Mouri and Shinichi Kudo were destined for love since first sight.

_The End_

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A/N: There, finished! Phew, finally finished my first fanfic. ^.^

Please review this story and tell me if it lacks anything or needs to be edited! I welcome all reviews! Thanks~~_  
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